I'm officially an intern and I love it. why ? because I'm closer to the beauty of medicine that is the human interactions.
a few days ago we had this 2 year old baby boy who just lost his ability to walk all of a sudden , no warnings no alarms before it just lost it
The team thought of the worst and measures were taken in that direction the notorious Guillian Barre syndrome were you start getting paralyzed from your toes ascending to your legs which is our least important because what scares us for real is the diaphragm paralysis in which you'll suffocate to death . an extreme respect worthy disease.
but when you enter the room and see that cute smiling boy playing with some Ipad games you must take a look at the father when he receives the news and shockingly enough he is fine never lost his temper when ever we tell him that other causes were thinking of were ruled out except that ugly one.
days pass by when a colleague comes in a hurry asking the doctor to come ... we all go to see that little boy walking to take his toy from his happy father ... it was priceless
we ruled out Guillian Barre and started to think of a mild simple case of low pottasium causing his muscle weakness .. we discharged that boy screaming some moammar algadaffi nonsense :)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yasser arafat once said choose your friends wisely, dont waste time picking enemies as they will pick you anyway.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
shock waves from the past
what if juhaiman knew that his brain is full with nonsense "at least what is related to the end of time" and tried to pass by all of his ideas of a better world "his version" by causing a massive mental earthquake using the that small parts of doubt in every denier's head !? the act was massive to the point that some people that were kidnapped inside the mosque believed it because no one will dare taking over like this unless he was the one .... a crappy alternative history scenario I know ... well I think that such mentality can be individualized as in love. love "at least in the hormonally derived youth" has this phenomenon that makes us a believers of an idea to a hysterical point thinking that we reached the ultimate goal of our existence discovering after the tragic ending that we were a part of a dirty psychological rewarding scam supervised by our dopamine releasing neurons .. the same neurons that suddenly stopped to make you face the reality again
what is life worth without such strong beliefs ? our pursuit for happiness never stops and our minds tries every while and then to trick us into thinking that we founded our reason to be alive not only that but we tend to share it even by force with others ... we all have it in us either we carried the AK47 or just wrote under a nickname in such a blog the difference that some have the balls to carry it to the end even if it was wrong and that what counts.
It is a frightening fact to think that war criminals and terrorists all over the world took all of their victims as an acceptable loss for the bigger goal.
I need to have such spirit as I lost it somewhere along time ago. I promise that I'll use it in a good way :(
P.S. yes, he is looking at you
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
a 1400 year first impression
I remember last year's debates that took place in Hungary as I was there for a course of several weeks. To be frank it was more of an investigation done by a Belgium man about Islam, Terrorism and Saudi Arabia. yes I know how much of a beautiful triad to be arguing about for five weeks :\ . to be honest I was enjoying it and that gentleman was a curious clever person making me look to other faces of reality and making the breaks in each day more than just a time for getting a bite to stop your hunger.
it was that day when he asked me a new question about the causes of the Sunni-Shiite conflict. *SIGH* I replayed then took a breath and a few minutes to try summarizing it but couldn't. I started talking and explaining the beginning by the killing of othman ibn affan the third leader of the young islamic state followed by the fight for power between the two strong men of that time ali and moaweya passing by the years later and the death of hussain the grandson of the prophet and the son of ali and the bequeathing of yazeed the son of moaweya ... he suddenly stopped me asking me if the bombings in iraq are justified and based on such stories ?? well, if you add a lot of self interests and thirst for power in the last 1000 years then yes, can you believe it? I answered.
what made me remember that argument is that tension I see each time in the faces of people in my college located in Riyadh the capital of Saudi Arabia which is known to be the political HQ for Sunni islam not only that but a more strict one. the tension is brought by many things mostly political as recently the bahraini protests. because in a shiite dominant country Iran "you've said it the shiite HQ" must be involved !! as if their demands of a better life is a cover for an "Islamic revolution" there "personally I'm not interested at all actually i was happy to hear a DJ demand in the protesters gathering, it was a real relief."
this conflict makes us weak from the inside and gave a golden chance for occupiers to keep iraqis divided and more away of each other, not only that but made that gap that extremists from both sides used in a terrible way.
trying to understand the reasons behind such ideas is not that hard. some religious politically guided assholes are behind each recent conflict. raising children under a speech praising sects not land, pointing the difference not the common and turning the credibility of the preachers and history events into a non questionable dogmas plus a long history of lacking trust in each other.
all of these are making this phobia spread in a wider range between the young and the worst part is they don't even need to know history to make a point of it .. it's inherited nowadays !
no one decided what he was born as and history does not belong to anyone, logic has no role in this as some will try to convince us with "or themselves maybe" .. i believe he has the freedom to believe in it or not to believe in anything at all as this is his pure business and if bahrainis choose the spaghetti and meat ball god as a supreme leader I'll be happy as long as they get and apply a constitution giving them all their rights making them a major part in building their land.
in the old days I've been filled with such stupid thoughts but now for sure I know and will try my best not to put my future children in a such environment. it's enough that I lived in this ambivalent sphere which both parts are guilty in making it. enough is enough.
it was that day when he asked me a new question about the causes of the Sunni-Shiite conflict. *SIGH* I replayed then took a breath and a few minutes to try summarizing it but couldn't. I started talking and explaining the beginning by the killing of othman ibn affan the third leader of the young islamic state followed by the fight for power between the two strong men of that time ali and moaweya passing by the years later and the death of hussain the grandson of the prophet and the son of ali and the bequeathing of yazeed the son of moaweya ... he suddenly stopped me asking me if the bombings in iraq are justified and based on such stories ?? well, if you add a lot of self interests and thirst for power in the last 1000 years then yes, can you believe it? I answered.
what made me remember that argument is that tension I see each time in the faces of people in my college located in Riyadh the capital of Saudi Arabia which is known to be the political HQ for Sunni islam not only that but a more strict one. the tension is brought by many things mostly political as recently the bahraini protests. because in a shiite dominant country Iran "you've said it the shiite HQ" must be involved !! as if their demands of a better life is a cover for an "Islamic revolution" there "personally I'm not interested at all actually i was happy to hear a DJ demand in the protesters gathering, it was a real relief."
this conflict makes us weak from the inside and gave a golden chance for occupiers to keep iraqis divided and more away of each other, not only that but made that gap that extremists from both sides used in a terrible way.
trying to understand the reasons behind such ideas is not that hard. some religious politically guided assholes are behind each recent conflict. raising children under a speech praising sects not land, pointing the difference not the common and turning the credibility of the preachers and history events into a non questionable dogmas plus a long history of lacking trust in each other.
all of these are making this phobia spread in a wider range between the young and the worst part is they don't even need to know history to make a point of it .. it's inherited nowadays !
no one decided what he was born as and history does not belong to anyone, logic has no role in this as some will try to convince us with "or themselves maybe" .. i believe he has the freedom to believe in it or not to believe in anything at all as this is his pure business and if bahrainis choose the spaghetti and meat ball god as a supreme leader I'll be happy as long as they get and apply a constitution giving them all their rights making them a major part in building their land.
in the old days I've been filled with such stupid thoughts but now for sure I know and will try my best not to put my future children in a such environment. it's enough that I lived in this ambivalent sphere which both parts are guilty in making it. enough is enough.
Friday, February 11, 2011
a sms to heaven
hello dad it's your son talking
they did it, Egypt is free now and I'm optimistic now.
please tell this news to the martyrs of the new arabian revolutions there.
miss you
good bye
they did it, Egypt is free now and I'm optimistic now.
please tell this news to the martyrs of the new arabian revolutions there.
miss you
good bye
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Tunisia : the tale of a new era
I was born in 1987 in Riyadh the capital of Saudi Arabia , being a middle eastern guy makes me more familiar with political disasters but on other hands being a post-colonial newborn makes me not aware totally of what my parents went through, not capable to fully understand the reasons of that time that contributed to this modern middle east.
my dear father -may he rest in peace- was proud of being an arab and always told me that all failures in the region were just black pages in our history "he also told me about a lot of red bloody ones" and the arab masses will wake up someday to choose their own leaders to save their countries from enemies of the outside and the inside too and start a new era of dignity.
Away from the famous arab radio in my old man's days "arab voice = saout olarab" there were no more sources of the arab-israeli wars information , the voice of jamal abdulnasser had that sedative effect during listening followed by that stimulant effect making the people scream and go protesting "not here :\" to support the notorious arab leader of that time, the one that said no to colonial forces and nationalized the Suez canal leading to another war, the one that also filled the dungeons with political opponents.
a lot of arab leaders came after that with most of them being dictators ruling with the guns & ideologies "religion, nationalism you name it" and all using the people in the name of saving the lands from either the damn imperialists \ or the infidels .
people knew the simple equation saying that the more the leader screams against the enemy the more he is a traitor to his beliefs and the more he is gaining trust inside the enemies closed offices.
as years pass most of the arab world leaders were reaching their positions by either bequeathing or a military uprising, but there was that sort of an exception that my dad was proud to tell me trying to plant that hope inside me , it was the tale of abdulrahman sewar addahab the Sudanese general who overthrew a dictator to promise his citizines with a fair elections "without him as a candidate' and did it but of course the happy ending is missing in sudan and you can see it in the news.
about one week ago another exception did happen in the last place any man around here will ever dream of ... Tunisia the oasis of secularism as the western governments and media always pictured it. the people were the ones that started and finished this revolution and amazingly for the first time in the arab world the army refused to obey the tyrant's "bin ali" orders to stop it with bullets on the contrary the army filled the streets of Tunisia to gain balance in the streets and fired their bullets against the private guards of bin ali that were spreading terror between citizens. it was a lot of adrenaline for a simple guy like me to handle .... IT WAS A DAMN MIRACLE . jaw dropping to the point i wake up each day to see the news to be sure that no army general woke up with a crazy idea to rule the country and till now fortunately i'm wrong and hope to be that for ever.
ladies and gentlemen the youth or arab world who became so pessimistic due to all the corruption, torture, human right restrictions, ignorance and a bull shit filled media entered now a new era were they have an example of a country that grasped it's freedom and will not allow anybody to try taking it away. now they know the power of the new media and know more about the hypocrisy of arab\western media and regimes. they know how a lot of political, religious, social figures are a bunch of liars.
now they know more ... Tunisia didn't only gain it's freedom it gave us all the gift of mind liberation .
I wrote the post above after the tunisian revolution but didn't publish it as I thought of it as a bad post , I remember at that time I went to my dad's grave as usual and after praying for him I started talking to him about what happened, I'm not that emotional guy and I definitely can't hear or whisper dead people :P but I developed this stupid habit of talking to him in my blue mood days. I was thrilled at that time.
a few days ago I went there again and the moment I was with him I smiled saying "man you won't believe how the world changed, the Egyptians are doing it now" .
we are free from our mind chains, no one will stop us now.
a Tunisian poet once said "If the people ever wanted to live -freely- then destiny will obey their demand"
the poem is one of my favorite "in Arabic of course" but the cynical part of the story is that it is one of the most known in Arab world as most of schools force little children to memorize it not knowing that it will be the slogan of this revolutionary time.
my dear father -may he rest in peace- was proud of being an arab and always told me that all failures in the region were just black pages in our history "he also told me about a lot of red bloody ones" and the arab masses will wake up someday to choose their own leaders to save their countries from enemies of the outside and the inside too and start a new era of dignity.
Away from the famous arab radio in my old man's days "arab voice = saout olarab" there were no more sources of the arab-israeli wars information , the voice of jamal abdulnasser had that sedative effect during listening followed by that stimulant effect making the people scream and go protesting "not here :\" to support the notorious arab leader of that time, the one that said no to colonial forces and nationalized the Suez canal leading to another war, the one that also filled the dungeons with political opponents.
a lot of arab leaders came after that with most of them being dictators ruling with the guns & ideologies "religion, nationalism you name it" and all using the people in the name of saving the lands from either the damn imperialists \ or the infidels .
people knew the simple equation saying that the more the leader screams against the enemy the more he is a traitor to his beliefs and the more he is gaining trust inside the enemies closed offices.
as years pass most of the arab world leaders were reaching their positions by either bequeathing or a military uprising, but there was that sort of an exception that my dad was proud to tell me trying to plant that hope inside me , it was the tale of abdulrahman sewar addahab the Sudanese general who overthrew a dictator to promise his citizines with a fair elections "without him as a candidate' and did it but of course the happy ending is missing in sudan and you can see it in the news.
about one week ago another exception did happen in the last place any man around here will ever dream of ... Tunisia the oasis of secularism as the western governments and media always pictured it. the people were the ones that started and finished this revolution and amazingly for the first time in the arab world the army refused to obey the tyrant's "bin ali" orders to stop it with bullets on the contrary the army filled the streets of Tunisia to gain balance in the streets and fired their bullets against the private guards of bin ali that were spreading terror between citizens. it was a lot of adrenaline for a simple guy like me to handle .... IT WAS A DAMN MIRACLE . jaw dropping to the point i wake up each day to see the news to be sure that no army general woke up with a crazy idea to rule the country and till now fortunately i'm wrong and hope to be that for ever.
ladies and gentlemen the youth or arab world who became so pessimistic due to all the corruption, torture, human right restrictions, ignorance and a bull shit filled media entered now a new era were they have an example of a country that grasped it's freedom and will not allow anybody to try taking it away. now they know the power of the new media and know more about the hypocrisy of arab\western media and regimes. they know how a lot of political, religious, social figures are a bunch of liars.
now they know more ... Tunisia didn't only gain it's freedom it gave us all the gift of mind liberation .
===================================================================
I wrote the post above after the tunisian revolution but didn't publish it as I thought of it as a bad post , I remember at that time I went to my dad's grave as usual and after praying for him I started talking to him about what happened, I'm not that emotional guy and I definitely can't hear or whisper dead people :P but I developed this stupid habit of talking to him in my blue mood days. I was thrilled at that time.
a few days ago I went there again and the moment I was with him I smiled saying "man you won't believe how the world changed, the Egyptians are doing it now" .
we are free from our mind chains, no one will stop us now.
===================================================================
the poem is one of my favorite "in Arabic of course" but the cynical part of the story is that it is one of the most known in Arab world as most of schools force little children to memorize it not knowing that it will be the slogan of this revolutionary time.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
faith, freud and I
Couple of days ago I was confronted by the same question if I thought about psychiatry as a profession before. A lot of memories crossed my mind about my rotation last year in psychiatry wards being the guy in love with the mechanism of our psych to shape and qualify us to be included in such complex societies.
it didn't went as the bright vision I had about it and finished with a harsh times after each day thinking in the parking lot about that especially at that time when a schizophrenic guy that came to the doctor orienting us to the place to start shouting with the taboos -of the outside- .. the frightening part was the doctor's mask face with no expressions at all as if this man lost all value of everything he ever believed in at that specific time, a time in which all of your emotions are calculated as an imbalance of your neurotransmitters... yes you're no more than a broken machine !
psychiatry was that bell telling me that all of Freud's theories based on psychological analysis is lost in this new dawn of drugs making their users a "partially normal people" I say partially as the fear of losing it makes them at a worst condition than that free zone of illness which you can be what you want to.
what is our standards of a healthy mental status after all ?? being well enough to lie, cheat, hurt others and get away with it ? we need to think of it all over again.
I know for sure that I've changed the way I look to psychiatrists from that point as i had a booster shot of respect to them and to their patients that took their duty to them selves to be treated from illnesses our community still denies it's magnitude and common people attribute it to loss of faith, witchcraft and a lot of nonsense they find a shelter in it from facing the ugly fact that we who assumed that we live in a normal way have created an environment perfect to trigger some of those illnesses, specifically the ones that "and i quote a psychiatrist friend" never takes the patient out of the darkness -depression in particular- as a huge number of such people live with no satisfaction about them selves even when fully dosed with drugs. it's simply something more than being high.
faith in the surrounding community and looking at it as the supportive safety net is the first thing we need around here. please help them by simply telling them that we are here to help.
it didn't went as the bright vision I had about it and finished with a harsh times after each day thinking in the parking lot about that especially at that time when a schizophrenic guy that came to the doctor orienting us to the place to start shouting with the taboos -of the outside- .. the frightening part was the doctor's mask face with no expressions at all as if this man lost all value of everything he ever believed in at that specific time, a time in which all of your emotions are calculated as an imbalance of your neurotransmitters... yes you're no more than a broken machine !
psychiatry was that bell telling me that all of Freud's theories based on psychological analysis is lost in this new dawn of drugs making their users a "partially normal people" I say partially as the fear of losing it makes them at a worst condition than that free zone of illness which you can be what you want to.
what is our standards of a healthy mental status after all ?? being well enough to lie, cheat, hurt others and get away with it ? we need to think of it all over again.
I know for sure that I've changed the way I look to psychiatrists from that point as i had a booster shot of respect to them and to their patients that took their duty to them selves to be treated from illnesses our community still denies it's magnitude and common people attribute it to loss of faith, witchcraft and a lot of nonsense they find a shelter in it from facing the ugly fact that we who assumed that we live in a normal way have created an environment perfect to trigger some of those illnesses, specifically the ones that "and i quote a psychiatrist friend" never takes the patient out of the darkness -depression in particular- as a huge number of such people live with no satisfaction about them selves even when fully dosed with drugs. it's simply something more than being high.
faith in the surrounding community and looking at it as the supportive safety net is the first thing we need around here. please help them by simply telling them that we are here to help.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Hello world
hello there, I'm abdulaziz and my about me in the side said it all
the question I want to know its answer is who isn't an obsessive compulsive now a days ?
with all the challenges in life each day no one can risk the chance of committing a mistake at least those that care from the beginning *salute them* still though it's ok to be wrong, we just need to learn from it.
I write because I need to improve my English writing skills. THAT DOES NOT MEAN I'm turning it into a grammar teaching parade, I'll talk about things in my life and how I view them, I don't think this pages will have more than a few anonymous visits but I'm happy to reach those dark side creatures.
so here we go and let there be light or mood swings or whatever.
the question I want to know its answer is who isn't an obsessive compulsive now a days ?
with all the challenges in life each day no one can risk the chance of committing a mistake at least those that care from the beginning *salute them* still though it's ok to be wrong, we just need to learn from it.
I write because I need to improve my English writing skills. THAT DOES NOT MEAN I'm turning it into a grammar teaching parade, I'll talk about things in my life and how I view them, I don't think this pages will have more than a few anonymous visits but I'm happy to reach those dark side creatures.
so here we go and let there be light or mood swings or whatever.
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